Indulgence is not a four letter word

Today is my birthday, a day that I tend to let myself indulge a little. We tend to think of indulgence as a bad thing.... its not.
A friend of mine recently read my post on the health benefits of chocolate (see December 2009). Her response was " Thanks! i make hot my own hot chocolate out of cocoa powder, i guess i can feel a little less guilty about that indulgence :)"  Now, I should explain that this woman is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. She has a gorgeous figure which is also rather tiny, and she is very conscious about her eating choices, both for herself, as well as her family.  She does yoga, works a regular job and has small kids. She does all of these things and still has time for school and the occasional fun night out. She is amazing. If anyone deserves a reward, it is her. So why, of all people, should she feel bad about the occasional cup of hot chocolate?! The answer is she shouldn't.

I'm talking about rewarding oneself.....and not feeling guilty about it.  I have been learning recently that this is not something I am very good at, but as with all things, I am working on it. With that being said, many of us have this problem. Taking the time to reward ourselves is hard enough. What makes it worse is that society conditions us to believe that many things we enjoy are bad for us.  This is especially true when we are enjoying a favorite food. Enjoying the occasional treat in response to a job well done or a goal being met is not a bad thing. To paraphrase the old bridge metaphor: just because Johnny ate an entire chocolate cake in one sitting and made himself sick, will you do it to?  This kind of thinking is what I truly believe prevents us from truly indulging and enjoying a well deserved reward. We call many of these rewards "guilty pleasures".

This is a definition I found on Wikipedia: A guilty pleasure is something one considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it. Often, the "guilt" involved is simply fear of others discovering one's lowbrow or otherwise embarrassing tastes, rather than actual moral guilt. 

The key phrase in this definition that jumps out at me is the description of where guilt comes from.  My boyfriend thoroughly enjoys reading Harry Potter books while soaking in the tub after a hard day of work doing construction site testing.  He is rewarding himself with something that he enjoys and pampers his aching feet. He does not care that it sounds weird that a grown man enjoys books written originally for tweens and spends time soaking in a bathtub (a form of relaxation our society seems to think is reserved for women.) . He has recognized he needs to reward himself after a hard day and there is no guilt involved here. He admits this is what he does to his friends, even laughs about it. We should all be so comfortable in talking about our definitions of the way we like to enjoy ourselves.

Around the Thanksgiving holidays  I saw a lot of posts from friends on social networking sites, wondering how not to over-indulge.  I guess what struck me is that they were already worrying about the guilt & the repercussion of having a good time before they even had it.   In a long winded (so sorry about that) way, what i'm getting to is this:
If you love doing something find a way to balance it in your life. If you love a certain food enjoy it every once in a while. If you tend to deprive yourself of something you will tend to binge, which is not a good thing. Having a system of reward for yourself about once a week is a very good thing. It doesn't have to be food, it can be buying yourself something special (not necessarily big or expensive), reading a good book, taking time write in your journal,  making the time to enjoy a night out with friends or a night in with loved ones to play some games, heading to a special class you've always wanted to take...the possibilities are endless.

Just take the time to say to yourself "You deserve a mini break, you've done a good job balancing and juggling all that you do." It really will make a difference not only in your ability to relax & enjoy life a bit more, but also improve your self esteem.